I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
