So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
