I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
