Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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