Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
