shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
farters have to be the big spoon...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
