Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
