I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm at about main and main street
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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