There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
