White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
