What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize