His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
