i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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