I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
