How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
