trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
