haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize