Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I believe in your delicious
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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