you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
