I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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