two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
