Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
