in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize