Need sex. Gaining weight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
