This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
