so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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