It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
