Nicole vs. Life
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize