and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
