He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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