69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I party with great urgency now.
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