3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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