When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
