I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
4 words: hood of his car
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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