why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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