I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
