my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
