You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His nipple licking is glorious
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