So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize