Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
