Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
