She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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