hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
