so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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