real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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