Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
