I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
