I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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