i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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