If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I cockslap morals
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
