turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
