You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
