between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize