doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
