oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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