there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
