the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
