We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
