she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
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