Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
