So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
