I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
